My Cup of Tea: “D”

Good morning! Thank you so much for taking the time to join us. I see that you ordered an Earl Grey with honey, is that your go-to? 

I usually prefer Lapsang Souchong, but this feels like an Earl Grey with honey kind of day.

You inherited wealth and decided to take control of it through active personal involvement. Clearly, you’re not afraid of challenging the status quo. Can you share a little bit more about your background?

I inherited my share of family wealth in a pretty sudden way. My relationship with my father was always a difficult one. Ever since I was a young girl, he discredited me. His main ambition was for me to ‘marry well.’ At the age of 23, I fulfilled that plan and had a wonderful wedding in a castle, but unfortunately, it didn’t end successfully.

Now that I have three children of my own, I see the important role education plays in shaping people. My upbringing was not a positive experience. Maybe it’s a gender thing, but I see boys express a willingness to prove their parents wrong when they’re being condemned. Comparatively, I think girls are more adversely impacted.

How did you manage to rebuild yourself to where you are now? You’re confident, empowered and in control of your wealth. Has inheriting it been a curse or a blessing? 

I’ve done – and still do – a fair amount of therapy. It’s helped a lot, especially when breaking down relationships and making wealth-related decisions.

I come from an ‘old-fashioned’ family where we don’t borrow money. We don’t rent properties, nor do we rent out. When I inherited, I decided to do the opposite. I started out by borrowing, which is a no-brainer when interest rates are low!

I moved away from the family net and resolved to do things differently. I took something that was badly managed and decided to explore other options. I managed my wealth the way I wanted to.

How and where did you start? 

I began by asking people how they handled their wealth, as well as taking recommendations. I received lots of different advice. Some suggested large financial institutions, others recommended smaller alternatives. Many said that boutique banks offer a more personalised service. Despite its size, I have to say that I’ve never felt like a number at J.P. Morgan Private Bank.

Ultimately, I opted for a firm that had an established brand name and a level of wealth management expertise. So far, I’ve been happy with the performance, service, reactivity and ongoing dialogue. When something is unclear, I find it easier to pose questions to female advisors. It might sound a bit clichéd, but I can see why women might prefer to consult with other women, as opposed to men.

You mentioned the importance of education. Have you had conversations regarding wealth with your children? If so, what was your approach? 

I believe in the importance of open communication. I’m very open with my children, particularly the eldest ones who are now adults. I want to help them all buy their first home. I’ve always stressed to my daughters how important it is for them to have a safe place.

I see many parents using money to control their kids. I never wanted that type of relationship. They will receive money over time, and they know it. I often say, ‘the wealthier a person is when they die, the fewer tears are shed at their funeral.’

I’ve also worked hard to transmit the values that I believe in. I’m proud to say that my children are all grounded, happy human beings. I’ve always encouraged them. I value effort far more than actual results. I’ve never spoilt them and have intentionally avoided places that are too much of a ‘show off.’ I’d much rather spend €8 on a mojito in the Southwest of France than €60 on a pizza in St. Tropez!

When it comes to managing your wealth, is there anything in particular that you care about? 

When I consider my investments, I start by thinking about the outcomes I would like to achieve. Then, like many other things in life, it comes down to trust and intuition. I’m looking for the right people – namely subject matter specialists – to help me navigate various aspects of that process. I’m not an expert myself, so I need to trust the people who work for me, and believe in their ability to deliver.

I care deeply about education and health. If returns can be met through greener or more sustainable solutions, even better. Overall, the priority is that my expected returns are met, so that I can continue to support the charitable causes I value most.

I’m also interested in private investments. I’m happy to support young people who have an entrepreneurial spirit, or an inspiring story to tell.

How do you find the right people? Do you have any best practices you can share? 

I try to find competent, trustworthy individuals. That has no price. I also strive to eliminate toxicity. For example, I will never invest in a manager that has ‘no skin in the game.’ Alignment of interest is key.

When I engage in a private investment, I follow three rules: meet with the manager or the entrepreneur/founder, make sure that the people who ask you for money have also invested their own, and listen to your feelings – both from a psychological and physical perspective.

Following that, it’s all about personality. I recently invested in a company that designs and markets natural, premium haircare products for women with textured hair. I don’t have any knowledge about that space, and I probably wouldn’t have financed the Founder if I’d received a PowerPoint pitch. Meeting her, listening to her story, and getting to know her – these were the factors that influenced my final decision. I’m very happy that she’s doing well!

Thank you so much for sharing these stories. To summarise, what three pieces of advice would you give to women who are inheriting wealth? 

To come full circle, I think inheritance can be a blessing. You just need to make sure that you’re mentally and physically prepared to receive it. Surround yourself with the right people – focus on experts in their fields, don’t try to do it all yourself. Lastly, be curious, proactive and do your due diligence.