Around the table: Family philanthropy discussion questions for every generation

This article is designed to help families turn good intentions into a clear charitable plan that reflects family values, includes younger generations, and supports long-term legacy. 

For many of the families we work with, philanthropy sits at the heart of what they do together across generations to express a commitment to communities and family values. They want their commitment to feel coherent, purposeful and impactful, but it can be hard to translate broad social and environmental challenges into a philanthropic plan.

With more time together during the summer holidays, it can be an ideal moment to step back from day-to-day life and talk not only about what you want to support, but also how you want to give. We encourage families to start by asking themselves questions. A short, well-facilitated family conversation can be the bridge between aspiration and strategy.

Below is a set of questions to explore “around the table” with your family. You do not need to answer all of them in one sitting; pick a handful, tailor them to ages and interests, and focus on listening for themes that emerge.

1) Why are we giving?

Families can move past this question too quickly. In our experience, when philanthropy is anchored in a shared sense of purpose and values, it becomes more resilient to disagreement, changing circumstances and leadership transitions between generations.

It is important to consider: what experiences, individual or shared, have shaped what we care about? And what values do we want our giving to express in practice, not just in principle?

For younger family members, this can be a powerful place to start as it allows them to voice their own perspectives on what matters to them and why. As you tailor the questions, take account of different ages and preferences, and make space to engage quieter family members so the conversation reflects the whole family.

2) Who are we trying to serve—and what does success look like?

This question moves philanthropic intentions into strategy. Take your time here: defining who you are ultimately trying to serve, what success looks like for them, and what change you want to see in the world brings a clarity that sharpens what follows.

It is also worth being honest and clear about time horizons. Some families want to address immediate need, others are drawn to structural change, and many find a way to do both. There is no right answer, but having clarity on where you stand will shape your giving now and going forward. To make this practical, write down a simple plan: the causes you will prioritize, the outcomes you will use to judge success, and how you will review impact over time.

3) How will we work together and across generations?

Most meaningful philanthropy involves more than money. Considering what each family member might contribute — time, networks, professional skills, experience — often surfaces unexpected strengths and creates a stronger connection to the causes you care about. To make that practical, choose a few shared activities that will strengthen your giving: learning, hands-on engagement such as volunteering, and relationship-building. Match these to individual strengths, then come back together to share what you've learned.

A key dimension of working together is working across generations. Families who transition philanthropic leadership well have often started early, beginning with small, real decisions to empower family members. Consider what areas of ownership rising generations could take — whether a small grant, a cause area, or a relationship with a non-profit — and how you could support the learning they need to make this a success. The goal is for a rising generation to move from asking "how do I fit into this?" to "what do I bring to this?": honoring both collective impact and individual passions, whilst staying grounded in shared values..

4) How will we work across generations?

Families who transition philanthropic leadership well have often started early, beginning with small, real decisions to empower family members. Consider what areas of ownership rising generations could take, whether a small grant, a cause area, or a relationship with a non-profit, and how you could support the learning that they need to make this a success.

The goal is for a rising generation to move from asking ‘how do I fit into this?’ to ‘what do I bring to this?’: honoring both collective impact and individual passions, whilst staying grounded in shared values.

5) How will this work over time?

A light framework and set of basic guardrails can be useful; for example, focus areas, geographies, grant size and appetite for multi-year commitments. These will protect relationships and keep momentum. It is worth agreeing early how decisions will be made and how differences in opinion will be handled, as having a shared approach in place makes it easier to navigate disagreements if they arise.

Finally, build in moments to review—not just what you have learned as a family, but what you are hearing from the communities and organizations you support. The best strategies evolve in dialogue with those they aim to serve. Consider scheduling regular check-ins to discuss what you are learning, how donations and other contributions are working, and whether you should increase or adjust support based on evidence from charities, nonprofits, and partner organizations.

Continuing the conversation

The questions in this article are intended as a starting point for conversation during the holidays, not a comprehensive blueprint. You do not need to answer all of them at once; pick two or three that feel most relevant to where your family is right now and see where the conversation takes you.

If you would like support in taking this further, The Philanthropy Centre works with families at every stage of their philanthropic journey, from those just beginning to consider how they want to give, to those looking to strengthen or evolve an established approach. Please reach out to your J.P. Morgan advisor to continue the conversation.

Family philanthropy FAQ